I know that sometimes I fail at keeping promises. I back out of
plans at the last second, because my anxiety makes my mind run through ten
horrible scenarios. I don't think that I am beautiful, and when someone
tells me I am it makes me annoyed. I worry day in and day out about my
life and where it's taking me, because I don't go to school or have any plans
for the future. I become attached to people too easily, and it usually
ends badly. Alcohol and drugs replaced the loneliness that never
really goes away. I've done bad things, I continue to do bad things.
I am a messy, disastrous, human being.
I believe in others more than I believe in myself. I offer a hand
to my enemies, and often times get stung. I will sit next to you in
silence until you decide to speak of your pain. I will let you fall,
because sometimes that's what we need to do - but I won't ever leave your side.
I see beauty in everything, even when I can't find it in myself. I
will encourage others goals, and I will check in to see how far they've come.
I've done good things, I will continue to do good things.
I am a good, caring, human being.
Too often we stare at the mirror and we don't see our beauty. We
don't see the twinkle in our eye when we see something we love. We don't
appreciate our own gratitude the way we do others. We
sell ourselves short every single day. For every flaw we
scrutinize, for every mistake we make. We punish ourselves, we hate
ourselves, we kick ourselves down. But I am here to tell you something.
Listen closely and understand clearly:
We are only human. We do bad things, we do good things -
and we will continue to do them. It's time to forgive yourself.
